what is the way out?


I believe deeply that we are all intrinsically loving, kind and compassionate beings. But for so many of us, at some point in our lives, we were told that we were not good enough. It might have been a parent, a partner or a boss. It doesn’t matter; we often take it in and believe it, no matter how strongly we know it not to be true. It hurts. And sometimes, we protect ourselves against the pain by judging others harshly. The need to heal, to bring back balance and feel okay comes out as a need to feel better than someone else.

Imagine how freeing it would be to shift the focus from judgement back to love! To use compassion and forgiveness to feel less alone and more worthy. Can you imagine? In that moment, rather than lashing out or judging, we offer instead a kind word, a prayer, a gesture of respect — maybe even a hug. What would happen then?

And every time we are successful in turning the inclination to judge into an expression of unconditional love, our thoughts, intentions and actions become weapons of peace to help heal the world.

This is the way out.



caring for the world


Being grateful — so the latest research says — is good for us. It makes us more optimistic, energetic, resilient, peaceful and productive. We feel better about ourselves and our lives when we are grounded in gratitude.

One of the best ways to explore this path is by focusing on your own bounty. Be grateful for your eyes and your ears! Your teeth! Be grateful for the music that is in your very heart. If it is available to you, you can summon gratitude even for the parts of your body where you experience pain or discomfort. It has sometimes been through physical challenges that people have been able to recognize how much there is to be grateful for.

Also, by respecting and caring for ourselves, we are caring for the whole world. Remember: peace on earth begins with me. It is the same with harmony on earth, and health on earth. By nurturing the seeds of compassion and kindness in yourself, you are helping the universe become kinder. And by caring for ourselves unconditionally, as tenderly as a mother cares for her newborn, we are creating more love in the world.

Using mindfulness to connect to the present moment allows you to tap into the wonder of being a part of the cosmos, which invites gratitude and awe. I love this quote from Thich Nhat Hanh: “Awareness is like the sun. When it shines on things, they are transformed.”

To me, gratitude is simply awareness of that which we value and cherish. When we access gratitude, the positive in our lives is highlighted, and seeds of hope, kindness and love are thus planted.

bravery in the name of love

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Engaged Buddhism is the taking of one’s practice from the meditation cushion and out into the world. It was a path first taken 50 years ago by a small group of monks — including Thich Nhat Hanh —  who decided to leave their Vietnamese monastery and try to help bring about peace during a terrible time of war. It was an act of bravery made in the name of love.

At its core, this path is about how we are all connected — we inter-are — and how being aware of this connectedness as we live our lives can bring about greater well-being for all.

I have referred before to Thay’s illustration proving the interconnectedness of the universe by considering a piece of paper. Without rain or the sun to nurture the tree, he says, there would be no piece of paper. Without the lumberer, there would be no paper. Without bread to feed the lumberer, there would be no paper. For a piece of paper to exist, there must be clouds and time and energy and soil and the mother and father of the lumberer. In fact, to look at a piece of paper, as thin and small as it is, we can see the entire universe as part of its existence. When you understand this, you know that you are never just you, separate from everything else.

Think of this in terms of people, and it is the same thing. In order for one person to be ahead, another will be behind. It is the nature of things; there can’t be an above without a below. In order for some to be affluent, some must live in poverty. No one among us can claim a lack of responsibility. But it is not a punishment! Just like the piece of paper, we are all made of everything else. We inter-are, with sunshine and water and even those with whom we may not feel any connection.

What to do with this information? Once you absorb it, once you really take it into your heart, you know what the answer is. You can share the pain of those who are suffering and wish them well through your thoughts and deeds. You can be deeply careful with the earth. You can see the homeless person in the street and the corporate executive alike as beautiful souls, connected to you and everyone else, and each just as worthy. You can bow to him or her. Then, once you have opened your heart in this manner, you can begin to make change in a thousand small ways.

To do this, it is important to be cognizant of the problems that exist and persist in the world. Then think about your own actions, and how those actions create ripples. Everything we do has a reaction, and we can strive to create positive ripples; ripples that intentionally create peace and true kindness, benefiting the earth, other people and all living things.

This is Engaged Buddhism. This is courage in the name of love.

going home at christmas



We all have this yearning, this deep desire to be in our true home, a yearning to be safe and warm and loved.

At Christmas, we can think about Jesus, homeless in his birth, and a refugee on the run. The same is true of the Buddha, who walked away from his home of wealth and privilege when he came to the understanding that there was great suffering outside his palace walls.

What would their homes have been? They both spent their lives looking to build love and peace. Maybe these would have meant home, just as those things would mean home to many of us. What more would you want beyond peace and love? A measure of ease perhaps, and comfort. Sadly, there are many who wander, searching for that elusive thing called home.

In the Buddhist tradition, seekers find home within their own hearts, as it seems Jesus and the Buddha did. One of the last things the Buddha is said to have spoken was this: “Dear monks, practice being islands unto yourselves, knowing how to take refuge in yourselves.”

So, home is in the present moment, in a heart that is open and filled with kindness and light. In this beautiful home, there is warmth and peace and safety. We can access our heritage, our faith and hope and truth. We can find the love our mothers and grandmothers had for us. It is there!

Inside you, there is infinite love, and you only have to go home to your own heart by way of mindfulness. In fact, once you are on the path to home, you are already there.

Merry Christmas from my home to yours!



your spirit



Who is in control, your ego or your spirit? While the ego can be characterized as fearful — mistrustful, dissatisfied, only interested in attaining, winning and succeeding — the spirit is just the opposite. Your spirit is incapable of feeling sorrow, pain, anger or fear, because it is eternal. It is one with the universe, and with all other spirits. It has no interest in right or wrong, conflict or threat. It is not vulnerable, but recognizes the abundance of the universe. It embodies unlimited generosity, forgiveness and gentleness. Your spirit is only capable of unconditional love, valuing peace, kindness and harmony above everything else.

This is true of everyone. Everyone’s got the ego too, always self-centered and potentially harmful. When someone’s ego causes them to take an action to which your ego objects, you can know that there is a perfect loving spirit within them too. Likewise, you can  know that your own ego — protective, worrying, impeding — may be the only thing standing between you and true happiness

Our spirits know our own true best interests.

there are so many ways to stand up for love.


Those who practice on the Buddhist path learn about and follow the example of Avalokita, the bodhisattva who hears the cries of the world. We train in how to respond to suffering, both for ourselves and for all beings. It is a fundamental aspect of what Thich Nhat Hanh calls ‘Engaged Buddhism.’

This has never been more needed than it is right now. As the very fabric of our world seems more and more in danger of unraveling, there is much that Buddhist practitioners can do. By bringing courageous hearts and calm minds to bear, we carry tremendous strength. These are the most powerful weapons on earth, and I feel deeply that they are the best hope for our future.

Standing together with our neighbors, we can use the tools of non-violence and loving kindness to protect the vulnerable, to counter oppression and marginalization, and to work for a more just and caring society. We can train for a new leadership paradigm, one that does not discriminate, but considers the interests of all beings.

Practitioners are called to remember that we are all one. We are the earth and we are the poor. The voices that cry out in suffering are our own voices. They are the voices of our loved ones. To turn away from the plight of our nation, our planet and its vulnerable inhabitants is to turn away from ourselves, to turn away from our children. We are our own great-great grandchildren.

To take action, we can work on our own personal suffering. This is a very healthy way to contribute to the resistance. You can listen deeply and understand the cause of your own pain. You can train in true compassion and non-discrimination, and you can search for peace within yourself – a lifetime’s practice. And when we can use our mindfulness to find balance in the present moment, when we are indiscriminately compassionate, when we meet hatred head on with courage and love, each of us is a tower of strength. Each of us is a beacon of light.

The fact that Avalokita is often represented as having so many arms is a reminder that there are so many ways to respond. There are so many ways to stand up for love. Whether you march, write a check, meditate, run for office or show more kindness as you walk through your day, these are all ways to address the suffering in the world.

the story of avalokita


The statue pictured above is Avalokita. This bodhisattva has several names – Chenrèzik, Lokésvara, Guanyin – and is sometime portrayed as a man and sometimes as a woman, but always represents a being who gazes down upon the world. Avalokita is the one who hears the cries of the suffering. She is the bodhisattva of compassion. The sun, moon, earth, wind and several Hindu deities are said to have been born of Avalokita – from her feet, her heart and her tears – and she is endowed with many arms because there are so many sufferers to reach out to. Associated with Avalokita is the seminal mantra om mani padme hum, the meaning of which, while interpreted many different ways, is a meditation on the practice of a path on which you can transform your body, speech, and mind into the pure exalted body, speech, and mind of a Buddha.

Known for her capacity to listen deeply, Avalokita is said to have practiced by listening tenderly to her own suffering, from which understanding and compassion arose. With the transformation and healing this brought, she was able to understand the suffering of others and help them to transform also.

We don’t like to connect with our suffering – we usually run in the opposite direction – but listening deeply to your own suffering paves the way to touch the suffering of another in communion. Eventually, one can touch the suffering of the world.

The best way to achieve this is by relaxing into a sangha or meditation group. The sangha will embrace you if you hold it dearly, and the collective energy of mindfulness and peace will penetrate you and spread through your body, releasing your pain.

I am aware of my suffering.
I embrace my suffering.
I am aware of the suffering of a loved one.
I embrace her pain.
I am aware of the violence, despair and fear in the world.
I embrace the world.
By touching my own pain, I can use my healing energy to transform
myself, my loved ones and the world.




The lotus grows in the mud and mire,

yet blossoms into a beautiful flower,

unfolding its sparkling petals toward the sun.

May the lotus inspire us to nurture the beauty

of our own human consciousness.

Although it has no value,

beauty is an intrinsic quality of all things

because all things are interconnected.

The beauty of the sunrise is the beauty

of kindness is the beauty of the river

is the beauty of you yourself.